It Gets Into Everything
by Buzzlette
Summary: Duo does not own a vacuum cleaner. There is a very simple reason for this: vacuum cleaners don't like him. Slice-of-life-ish. Now with chapter 2: The Dreaded Chore
1. It Gets into Everything

**Disclaimer:** Standard fic disclaimers apply. I don't own the characters. The story however, is mine.

**Pairing: **None, really. Can be 1x2 if you squint and cock your head to the side

**Warnings:** Post-war, nebulous timeline, assumes 1&2 are living together for whatever reason, attempts at humor, RL inspiration and vacuum cleaners.

**Notes: **Unbeta'd. Ignore my love affair with commas, it's an ongoing problem.

Also, there is another GW fic with this name somewhere on the net. It is a wonderful fic. This is not that fic. That fic is not this fic. That fic does not belong to me. The title was chosen because it refers to the same thing in this fic as it does in the other fic.

* * *

**It Gets Into Everything**

The front door to the apartment swung open and Duo walked in toting this week's laundry still warm from the dryer in the complex's basement. He kicked the door shut but before he could even set the basket down on the couch, Heero shoved Duo's phone under his nose. Duo went a little bit cross-eyed trying to look at the phone before turning his gaze back to his roommate's face.

"It rang while you were out."

"Uh… Thank you," Duo said as he took the phone and placed it on top of the laundry.

"Its vibration knocked over the cactus. Where's the vacuum?"

Duo glanced past him to where soil was scattered on the carpet and then back at Heero with an inquisitive head tilt.

"I cleaned up what I could," Heero explained with a hint of irritation; he'd had to pick several stickers out of his hands before starting to look for the vacuum. His search was, to say the least, unsuccessful. "Vacuum?"

Duo blinked a couple times before stating "I don't have one."

Heero stared in abject confusion. Whereas he had only moved in with Duo two weeks ago, Duo had been in this apartment for six months already. Surely, he would have a vacuum?

"Vacuums don't like me." When he was met by more confusion he adjusted the laundry basket balancing on his hip. "But I think there's a Dust Buster the last tenant left hiding in the back of the hall closet. That would probably work."

Heero stared another moment before going to scour the hall closet. As he walked away, Duo could finally set down the laundry. After the carpet was free of soil and cactus stickers and the laundry folded and put away, the entire incident seemed likely to be forgotten.

Until three months later when Duo came home only to be hit the minute he stepped in the door with the undeniable stench of burnt rubber and plastic.

"What is that smell?!" he exclaimed, trying not to breathe in too much.

It all became clear when he saw Heero sitting on the living room floor with a screwdriver at his side and the dismantled remains of their new upright vacuum scattered around him. Heero gave him a look that on anyone else would have been a stink eye. He was steadily picking long chestnut hair off the beater brush with scissors and pliers and dropping it in an ever-growing pile of hair in front of him. More hair could be seen clinging to the casing, wrapped around the belt and poking out of the vacuum's innards leading up towards the bag.

Duo leaned against the wall and smirked.

"Told you vacuums didn't like me."

* * *

_In case I get asked: a Dust Buster is a mini handheld vacuum perfect cleaning up things like spilled soil from your tiny cactus but not much good for anything bigger than that.  
_

_As said above, this was inspired by RL. I have pretty long hair, it's down to my waist and though it is fine, as far as actual strands of hair go, I have a lot of hair. Thus, I shed more hair than most people. It gets everywhere very quickly, and it will mess with your vacuum something fierce. I don't know how many vacuums I've broken this way OTL FYI: that stench is truly awful and it lingers in the room for __days_.  


_Also: can anyone clarify the correct usage of past/passed in situations like "Duo glanced past/passed him" or "His hair was past/passed the waistband of his jeans" because I realized with this fic that I don't know the correct usage in situations like those._

_Don't forget to feed the author!_


	2. The Dreaded Chore

**Disclaimer:** Standard fic disclaimers apply. I don't own the characters. The story however, is mine.

**Summary:** Heero is grossed out and Duo battles a drain.

**Pairing:** Now definitely 1+2+1 at the very least.

**Warnings:** Same universe as IGiE, more RL inspiration, attempts at humor, clogged drains and all the nastiness associated.

**Notes:** Unbeta'd. This is a collection of oneshots, so each chapter is a complete story, but this might get added to every once in a while. Chapter one reposted because I caught a typo.

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**The Dreaded Chore**

Ah, that felt wonderful. The water cascading through his hair, over his shoulders, down his back, legs and feet. Except it wasn't. Sliding over and off his feet that is. He was standing in a pool of water that lapped at his ankles.

Gross.

This had gone on too long. It was, to use a word he didn't usually use but described the situation perfectly, nasty. Duo didn't seem to mind but he was fed up.

Something had to be done.

OOOO

Heero came out to the living room dressed in sweat pants and a loose tank, toweling excess water from his hair. Duo, curled up in the armchair, peeked surreptitiously over his book, taking a good long look. Nothing wrong with just looking, right? When his perusal made it back to Heero's face, he found his roommate looking at him and he flushed a little in embarrassment.

"The shower drain needs to be cleaned out," Heero said.

Well, the tub did have a bit of a standing water problem, but he didn't think it was too bad. Back on L2 he most times had to use, and therefore stand in, water used by multiple other people. When they got enough water for baths, that is.

"Okay, we'll do that this weekend, then," Duo said with a smile and turned back to his book, still a little red in the face from being caught staring. He felt Heero's eyes on him and glanced back up. Heero was giving him a pointed look with a little bit of the infamous glare mixed in. "I mean, I will be cleaning the shower drain this weekend," he said with a nervous grin, hoping that was what Heero was getting at. He let out a small breath as Heero nodded and headed back down the small hallway. He watched him go avidly. Those were his favorite pair of Heero's sweat pants; they were thin and clung so nicely.

OOOO

Saturday. No work and so many things he wanted to do. And one thing he really didn't want to do but had to do anyway, unless he wanted to be confronted with The Glare and Heero possibly not speaking to him until he accomplished his task.

After carefully reading the directions on the liquid drain cleaner he grabbed the plastic drain snake that had come with the package and threaded it down the drain. He'd be done with this in no time and still have plenty of Saturday left. The snake seemed to have grabbed well to whatever was in the drain and didn't want to come out, but that was no problem. A little wiggle and tug and-

SNAP!

Duo stared wide-eyed at the half-a-drain-snake in his hands.

OOOO

Heero was pleased. Duo was clearing out the shower tub drain. Heero was also a little confused. About 30 minutes ago, Duo had come marching out of the bathroom muttering about "cheap-ass mass produced products" and "writing a strongly worded letter to that god forsaken company, dammit", grabbed a large flat head screwdriver and marched right back in. He'd come out a couple more times for needle nose pliers, a bucket, wire hangers and wire cutters. He'd also heard grunts, mutters, a variety of curses and swears, and one or two exclamations of "What the hell?"

At the shout of "Oh, come on! That isn't even mine!" Heero had to see what was going on. He marked his page, cleaned and put away his plate and wandered into the bathroom.

OOOO

Duo had gotten all of his own hair out of the drain and was now pulling out soggy clumps of bright blonde hair covered in some white stuff he really hoped was shampoo. With it he was finding other things, some of which should never have been near water to begin with. When Heero came wandering into the bathroom, Duo gave him a glare of his own.

"I don't care if I'm the main contributor to clogged drains in this house, next time you're cleaning this thing. You can experience the bafflement of finding all the weird shit the gets lost down drains." At Heero's quirked brow he gestured to the floor just outside the tub.

Next to the small bucket of hair and... gunk, lay an odd assortment of items. A bobby pin, a razor safety cap, a bright pink hair tie, a watch battery, what looked like one of the tines of a plastic fork and a red plastic thing with angled spikes.

"Good news is," Duo said with a disgusted face as he untangled a clump of blonde hair from the end of a long thin metal hook before tossing it into the bucket where it landed with a sick wet _thuck_, "I'm done." He dumped all the hair and trash into a plastic grocery sack, tied it off and put it in the bin. He then rinsed the bucket and tools in the tub where, sure enough, the water slid nicely down the drain with no delays. He tossed all the tools and wires in the bucket and put the whole bucket under the sink. "And after that," Duo grimaced, "adventure, I could go for a drink. How about you?"

It was only noon and Heero had just eaten. But, he didn't have anything else to do, the drain was clean, and Duo was standing there in only an undershirt, shorts and a light sheen of sweat looking flushed and accomplished. Heero's lips quirked upwards.

"Sounds good."

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_Again, major RL inspiration. One of the liquid drain cleaners comes with a plastic drain snake and I really did lose half of it down my tub drain. I then had to clear the thing out by hand, and half the hair I pulled out was not mine (shudder). I also did find more than half of those things while cleaning the drain, mostly mixed up in that other person's hair._

_Tell me your hair stories, both long and short hair! I have more ideas for these little snippets, but I could always use more. I also think it would be fun to do one with problems arising because of Heero's hair, or toenails, or something._

_Guest: Thank you for your comprehensive explanation. I like to pride myself on having good grammar, so it's a little hard to ask for help. Thank you for answering my question so nicely.  
_

_epifonia: The fact that my stories are so short always worries me. Thank you for saying chapter one was the perfect size for its content.  
_

_dkAdeena: That is a great idea! I'll have to use that in the future.  
_

_blah blah: As said above, I like to pride myself on having good grammar. Part of that continuing battle is asking for help. Glad the story was fun.  
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_Spoot Poot: Glad I could make you laugh.  
_

_Don't forget to feed the author!_


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